u/jessica4994: I'm a detox nurse. A patient had a d--k tattooed on the back of his shin so he could tell people he had a-d--k-shin. Addiction. Not making that up lol.

u/PseudOrchid: The mentor I apprenticed under once put the word “Trust” on someone’s d--k. To pick up girls. “Hey baby… can I put my trust in you?”

u/willieyobslayer: Had a woman come into the shop one time way back who looked like she’d been in a tanning booth 8 days a week for the last 40+ years. She wanted to get her locked-up man’s name tattooed on her, but she wanted it “down there”.

She convinced me to get waaaay closer to her jukebox than I was comfortable with, and had me tattoo “Billy Jack’s P--sy” so far up in there that I think we’re common law related now. (name slightly changed for anonymity). Best part is that a couple weeks later “Billy Jack” called me from prison tell me how much he loved the tattoo. It was a collect call too. God damn it. Thanks for bringing that memory back. I was almost over it, lol.

u/zombieriot: Girl had a dream about marrying a dolphin. She got a tattoo of her as a mermaid, rising from the water in an embrace with the dolphin. Halfway through, after hitting on me the whole time and telling me stories about an abusive ex, she started arguing about the colour scheme and left with only the outline and some shading.

u/Luke-__-: In prison I knew a guy with half his name scribbled backwards on his forehead. The only explanation I could come up with was he was tattooing himself in the mirror and half way through realized it was coming out backwards to everyone so called it quits.

_simonstre_: I once tattooed nipples on a guy's butt cheeks, so his a-s would look like t-ts.

u/F-ckYeahPhotography: I knew a guy that got a tattoo of a d--k on his d--k so he could ask people "wanna see my d--k?" and they would usually protest "no!" He would follow up with "it's a tattoo" laughing, so they would be like "oh ok." Awaiting a humorous tattoo of a dong to be displayed to them.

This was as you know a false sense of security. A lie. A crime. A bamboozle if you will. He would pull down his pants, and whip out his d--k on a d--k. Much to the dismay of all parties present with the exception of him of course. Funny character that one. Anyway, he did a lot of meth.

u/tjohnboy: I was a piercer for a few years at a local shop. During my first year of my apprenticeship we had a younger, 20 something male who had come in to get his forehead tattooed. I handled majority of the paperwork for the tattoo artists at the time as well and he had requested the word FUBAR to be done.

He went back into the booth with the artist at the time and was told to come back the next day after he slept on it because you know, it’s permanent and we wanted to make sure he was 100% certain. To all our dismay, he returned the next day to proceed with the tattoo. He had told us while getting tattooed that it was payback to his mother for favoring his older brother their whole life and he wanted to “return the favor” of how much she f--ked up his life. I’ll never forget the smile on his face as he walked out the door.

Tattooist here. The list is long but the one that made me laugh the most that I've done, is Wil E. Coyote's arm poking out of a dudes butt, holding a sign that said 'help'

u/zygomelonm: My tattoo artist told me he made a snake out of a guy's d--k, scales covering the whole thing.

Different strokes for different folks. Pretty gnarly.

u/Kypriot: I used to work with a guy who had a tattoo on the side of his body that was a woman squatting over a pond full fire hydrant p--sing into it, inside the pond was floating decapitated heads.

When I asked him wtf was this he told me that the woman was his ex and the heads were all his kids. I asked why is she pissing on them and he told me he has a p--s fetish….

u/LowThreadCountSheets: When I was getting one of my tattoos, the artist showed me this horrific piece he was begrudgingly working on for a client. It was a big arm tribal piece, and mixed in the tribal were little guys lifting weights. It was for a gym bro.

u/Darqologist: My brother lost a bet in a frat house...had to get a tattoo of a ladder on his rear end going towards his anus.

u/astrogeeknerd: Not a tattoo artist, but my son has the entry stamp from his favourite nightclub tattooed on his forearm, it got him free entry for a full week before his friend stole the clubs stamp, and they bought a new, different, stamp.

u/m1racle: One of my drunk friends poorly tattooed the words "your name" onto the a-s cheek of another drunk friend, all so he could use the "I've got your name tattooed on my a-s" line

u:Loctusofsmorgasbord: A zombie wearing a purple basketball jersey hacking a guys arm off, and vomiting. The guy is also vomiting up at the zombie and the streams of the two are meeting in the middle.

I’ve also done a cartoon fish being choked by another fishes poo. The choking fish is trying to unravel the poo. At the top of this sleeve there’s a first holding an aquarium net.

Two crossed joints over a Jamaican flag and the smoke forms the date of the first time he smoked weed on a Cruise. With his parents.

u/sal-t_brgr: Not a tattoo artist, but once in jail I held 12 D batteries in a rolledup newspaper to power a homemade tattoo machine while a friend tried tattooing the word KING on his d--k. He made the first stroke on the K and decided its hurt too much and that it would make a nice a cross instead. Lmao

u/Goldenprepuce: I tattooed a skin rip on my friends taint. Said skin rip ended up looking like a vagina.

u/perfectroughdraft: Not a tattoo artist, but I asked a similar question once when I was getting my own tattoo. He said the weirdest thing a client had asked for was bugs in her nether regions made to look as if they were crawling out of her vagina. That's a mental image I'll unfortunately never forget.

u/jhpeaks: Worked with a guy that was changing his shirt one time and he had a big elephant head on his stomach and the trunk disappeared below his belt line….he saw my notice and without me saying anything just nodded and said “yup”.